I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You left your phone here
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