i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
