Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
