U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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