Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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