You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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