You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
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