im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
