you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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