i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
