Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
