Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
