She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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