pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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