I met the friendliest cop last night
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize