Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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