All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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