Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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