help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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