I cannot find my penis.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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