the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize