OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
