Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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