# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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