This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
