what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
