So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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