dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize