I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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