Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
