man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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