census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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