Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
