i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
