Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
