Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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