oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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