So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
