I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Randomize
