Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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