; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
not ubering you a puppy
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
