so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize