i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Of course I have a pirate flag
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
