I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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