Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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