My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My ass is underappreciated
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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