I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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