Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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