Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
