so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
