Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
