You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
