Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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