I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
