hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
only if we run a train.
done.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
