Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
