I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
